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How our expectations and our need for instant outcomes are stopping us from being successful.

Hero to Zero

Okay, so last week I was definitely feeling in Hero mode… I ran an amazing conference, everything went well, feedback was fantastic and my goal of creating a life-changing experience was achieved. I was also struggling health wise, but it certainly wasn’t stopping me. I’d been pushing myself a long time before that, and of course it all ended messy. So this week was definitely more Zero as a few viruses (thanks kids) and exhaustion (oops that’s me) caught up with me.

The irony? The conference had been about being more aware of ourselves and our balance, and how the small decisions we make each day help or hinder us becoming the person we need to be to achieve our longer term goals.

So maybe I need to walk the talk a bit more.

When it comes to bad habits, sometimes we need to know where they come from in order to work our the action to take to undo them and make our change.

So while I was lying down this morning wondering how long it would take to feel better, I was looking for a meditation to listen to (trying to be good) and instead found a EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) video dealing with migraine alleviation. Since I figured my head hurt, it could be useful – I thought I’d give it a go. As they started exploring what emotions were behind the pain, I started wondering what was behind the pain in my head and eyes (Curiosity is such a great way of learning more about yourself).


The emotions and feelings connected to my head pain were very much around a sense of anxiousness. That I didn’t seem to be getting any closer to my goal of having 4 new coaching clients by the end of November. I also started to become much more aware of the pressure I was putting myself under to achieve this. It was like a pass or fail kind of pressure. As if everything was leading up to that point in time – a deadline that had no flexibility. I had essentially created this expectation, this deadline, and was rigidly sticking to it as if my whole future were riding on it. Which of course it wasn’t.

I wasn’t allowing for reality and life – and I wasn’t giving myself any flexibility or grace around it.

So when I got sick, it wasn’t so much the conference (external event) but the internal pressure and relentlessness that caused my body to say “Enough is enough! You are going to stop right now!”

At least now I was listening.

So where to now? I’m accepting that it isn’t the end of the world if I don’t make my self-created deadline. It’s okay to stop and smell the roses (or will be once my sense of smell comes back). It’s okay to look at school holidays as an opportunity to spend more time with my girls, not cramming work into every spare second.

And maybe, just maybe, I might get me energy back – and start the day feeling refreshed and energised again.

A little bit of love, forgiveness and generosity towards ourselves really can make all the difference. And the rest of it, that will come, and I’ll be ready to enjoy it when it does.


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